By David Murrow
Let me tell you a little bit about my church.
Sunday services are superb. They last anywhere from 8 to 10 hours, depending on how the Spirit is moving. At least 100 people are saved at every service. Dozens more are healed of debilitating diseases, and a handful of people are raised from the dead. We add at least 3,000 new members a month.
And speaking of members, everyone in our church has emptied their bank accounts and given every cent they have to the poor. Our city does not have any homeless or hungry people, thanks to our congregation’s on-site food pantry and homeless shelter. (A few of our members became homeless after giving their houses away, but they simply bunk at the shelter).
We have a prayer team that intercedes 24 hours a day for the church and for one another. They don’t eat. They don’t sleep. They just pray.
Our pastor is amazing. His personal life is exemplary. He’s never been a hypocrite, prays and reads scripture 8 hours daily and personally disciples every person in our church. He’s memorized the entire Bible, not only in English, but also in the original languages.
He and his wife have been married for 23 years. They have 19 children. Twelve are adopted with special needs.
Our youth ministries are outstanding. Youth meetings run anywhere from 4 to 5 hours, most of it praising our blessed savior in song. The youth are raising funds for a mission trip to North Korea to preach on the streets and distribute Bibles.
Sounds like a great church, right?
As you might have guessed, this church does not exist. It’s The Perfect Church church we all refer to when we talk about what the American church should be. Christians use this non-existent, flawless congregation to bash their own churches – and other Christians.
Self-loathing is very chic these days. It’s seen as a mark of open-mindedness. Meanwhile, self-confidence is seen as egotism.
It’s good to be aware of our flaws, but when we obsess on them we can descend into a spiral of depression. In its most pernicious form it becomes an excuse for inaction.
This critical attitude rears its head when I write about men and church. I’ll make some helpful suggestion how churches can become more guy-friendly, and I’m met with comments about how guys should be.
“If men just loved God more they’d enjoy singing in church.”
“If men loved the Word then they’d love going to church.”
“If men were truly saved, they’d volunteer in church.”
In other words, if men were exactly as we want them to be, then they’d love the church exactly as we’ve created it. By putting the onus on guys to be perfect, we excuse ourselves from having to do anything different to reach them.
So as you’re making your New Year’s resolutions, add this to the list: stop comparing your church to the non-existent, perfect church. And stop comparing your men to non-existent, perfect men.
And while you’re at it, stop criticizing yourself and your fellow Christians for not being perfect. We’re all hypocrites. Environmentalists drive cars. Conservatives accept government help. And everyone who claims to follow Jesus falls short of the perfection he demands (Matthew 5:48, Romans 3:23).
It is time to be grateful for God’s grace – an abundant grace that makes up for all our shortcomings.
MEET DAVID MURROW
David Murrow founded Church for Men in 2005. Murrow is not a pastor, professor or theologian. He’s just a guy in the pews who noticed a disturbing trend: churches are losing their men and boys. So he wrote a book titled Why Men Hate Going to Church, which became an instant Christian bestseller, with more than 100,000 copies in print. His efforts have spawned articles in the New York Times, Wall Street Journal, and the Chicago Tribune, to name a few. You may have seen him on PBS, the NBC Nightly News, or the Fox News Channel talking about the gender gap.